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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254826">do you even love me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/totisok/pseuds/totisok'>totisok</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Vocaloid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, I dont know how to tag, Oneshot, Romance, Sexual Content, formatting killed me, largely unedited</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:55:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/totisok/pseuds/totisok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>rin doesn't understand why her boyfriend hasn't slept with her yet.</p><p>smut, with a splash of gumiku.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kagamine Len/Kagamine Rin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kagami Rin wasn’t the type of girl to procrastinate. She wasn’t the type to be irresponsible, neglectful, or brash. And she <em> definitely </em>wasn’t the type to call you up begging to get wasted on a Tuesday night with projects due that same week. So when Miku found herself in that exact situation, she was riddled with both concern and annoyance as her friend struggled to get to the point.   </p><p>“...what exactly did you bring me here to talk about, Rin?”</p><p>The smaller blonde girl twiddled her thumbs nervously, finding any meaningless excuse she could to avoid eye contact. She had on an oversized paint-stained hoodie, exercise leggings, and worn-out Converse — effectively underdressed for the upscale downtown bar she currently sat in. Stirring her margarita — it was more ice than anything else, really — lazily, she slumped down in her seat. </p><p>“It’s complicated… and embarrassing.”</p><p>Miku raised her eyebrow, then with sudden movement, swiped her drink off the table, chugged it in one gulp, and slammed it down hard. The abrupt impact caused Rin to flinch, forcing her to stare up at the older girl.</p><p>“Look, let’s not beat around the bush. You and I both know this is about Len.” Miku leaned back and crossed her arms. “You’ve been dating now for- what, like three months? And I swear to you, if you’re not a match made in heaven, I don’t know what is. So what’s the deal?”</p><p>Rin continued pretending to be very amused by her fingers. Miku noticed the nervous tremble in her lip, the sweat forming on her brow, and the water pooling in her eyes — oh, jeez. She bent forward and lightly took both of Rin’s twitching hands.</p><p>“Hey, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for being so pushy, I know this is really important to you and as your friend I shouldn’t be pressuring you when you’re not ready, I’m here for you and you know it so don’t feel like you need to-”</p><p>“I DON’T THINK LEN WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!” Her outburst was quickly followed by sobs.</p><p>Miku dropped her hands in surprise. “...wha… what?”</p><p>Rin sunk down and buried her face in her hands. “Told you it was embarrassing.”</p><p>The tealette pondered the dilemma for exactly eight seconds, then declared with certainty, “There is no way in hell Kagamine Len would date someone he wasn’t attracted to.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Let’s get one thing straight,” Miku continued. “Gangster dropout makes a spontaneous decision to go to school to turn his life around, meets his unlikeliest soulmate, a struggling introverted art major, who shows him what’s worth working for in life? Please, it’s a fairy tale come true.”</p><p>Rin resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her friend’s cheesy description. “He’s… done a lot for me too. You’re right, I shouldn’t be worrying about something as pointless as this, it’s not like that means he doesn’t like me-”</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt, but also, there’s no way absolute <em> horndog </em>ex-gangster Kagamine Len would date someone he wasn’t attracted to.”</p><p>Rin’s face immediately burst into flames at the crude statement.</p><p>“Honey, <em> this</em>,” Miku waved absentmindedly at Rin’s expression, “is probably the reason why he hasn’t tried getting intimate with you. You get embarrassed so easily — it’s… too cute, too innocent.”</p><p>“I do <em> not</em>!” Rin shouted indignantly, standing up hastily. “I mean- I’m not- I am <em> not </em>innocent. I just don’t know how to tell him…” she trailed off, and could feel the alcohol start to settle in.</p><p>With her senses relaxed, she felt herself open up more, laying out insecurities she normally would take with her to her grave, asking daring questions she never would have before, and letting out frustrations she would normally consider irrational and trivial. After a lengthy discussion with Miku — and several more drinks — she felt exhaustion kick in.</p><p>After Miku had taken her home and sternly told her to get some rest and to <em> stop stressing out so much when you’ve got Prince Charming drooling over you all the time</em>, she felt herself settle much more comfortably into slumber than she had for the past week. </p><p>That Friday, after somehow — magically — managing to complete her assignments on time, she sat down in front of her TV with a cup of warm cocoa to digest her conversation with Miku earlier in the week. Her eyes fluttered shut as she nestled under the cover of warm blankets, thinking to the first time she met Len two years ago.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Art history. The bane of her existence. At least, the fact that she had to do a research project with a partner. Memorization was bad enough without the prospect of having to <em> communicate </em> with another human, gross. </p><p>Now, it wasn't that Rin disliked people, per se. She had her own small friend group and she was content with it. But the sheer number of people at her university and the constant exchanging of introductions had her weary, amplifying her introversion. As her professor was making the announcement, she frantically looked around the room, desperately searching for someone she knew. Her eyes darted around in a frenzy and her brain was making calculations faster than an artist of her caliber should ever have to. She honed in on a familiar-looking purple head — Yukari, she recalled — from a previous class who was serious and hardworking, an ideal project partner where she wouldn’t have to be too concerned with social formalities. Then she heard the worst.</p><p>“You will be paired by surname.” </p><p>What the fuck? What the <em> fuck</em>? <em> Why </em> the fuck? Did she attend university for babies? Did she come here just to have whatever little freedom she already had taken away from her? Were they still in daycare where they had to have every little decision made for them and why-</p><p>Kagamine Len’s initial appearance didn’t quite live up to the reputation he had racked up. Oh, she had heard the tales, all right — how he used to live on the streets, be in a gang, carry out <em> illicit operations</em>, whatever that meant… he was just bad news, apparently. Rumor had it that he had left that life behind to pursue a respectable one in the public’s eye, but getting close to him could result in one’s life possibly being in, well, danger. Nevertheless, he had kept a pretty low profile all semester, and there hadn’t been any <em> actual </em>scandals thus far.</p><p>Rin had always pictured him as some burly middle-aged dude with a bunch of tattoos and an eyepatch or something, but he looked… really normal. Around her age, barely an inch taller than her (and that was saying something), with messy light hair pulled into a short pony. In fact, a little baby-faced. He’d be considered “cute” if he didn’t have a consistent deadpan expression, or fierce, piercing blue eyes that felt like they could burn holes through your skull. Rin gulped nervously as he approached her. </p><p>He was calm, cool, and collected, introducing himself properly — albeit curtly — and before Rin could blink, they had already exchanged numbers, decided who was going to work on what parts, and called it a day. All in less than ten minutes. In a snap, he had left without a fuss. She was left in her seat in slight bewilderment. <em> That was easy</em>, she had thought at the time.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>What <em> wasn’t </em> easy was trying to understand why this fool didn’t show up to the agreed meeting time and place for the final collaboration. Rin had a <em> lot </em> of other responsibilities and she was constantly running on a tight schedule, so this interference put her in a sour mood. After talking to him once, she decided she was no longer intimidated by gossip and hearsay, and was determined to not let him get away with this. The project was due <em> tomorrow</em>. She didn’t have time for politeness games. So she called him about twelve times before he finally picked up.</p><p>Except, it was a girlish, high-pitched voice that spoke. (Granted, his voice was pretty high-pitched for a dude his age, but that was besides the point). It was a <em> woman </em>. “Who is this?” the voice asked.</p><p>Rin was taken aback for a second before she quickly recollected herself. “Um, hi, I’m looking for Kagamine Len?”</p><p>“Sorry, he’s not here right now. Call back later, please.”</p><p>“Wait!” She wasn’t going to let it go that easily. “I’m his project partner for a class, and we were supposed to meet today at the library to finalize everything. The presentation is due tomorrow, so I need to see him <em> today</em>.” She felt a little proud for standing her ground.</p><p>There was a bit of shuffling on the other end — hesitation, perhaps? The girl spoke again. “Okay, if you really want to, come to the convenience store on 5th Avenue. He left his phone here and I'm on shift, he'll be back for it eventually."</p><p>It was shady, no doubt. But Rin's determination was solid, and she wanted to take advantage of the courage it gave her before it fizzled out. With every word, she only grew angrier, and decided to march up to 5th Avenue. What could be so dangerous about a convenience store anyway?</p><p>When she got there, a girl with teal pigtails was manning the register. Rin quickly learned that this was the girl who had answered the phone, and her name was Hatsune Miku. She also learned that this Miku was one of Len's non-gangster friends whom he met through a temporary part-time position here, and that she was the one who convinced him that it wasn't too late to go back to school. She was one of the few that he trusted with his "top secret gang-related information," and had left his phone with her while he took care of some “unfinished business.” Rin didn’t understand why the fucker couldn’t bring his phone with him, but she decided to wait it out anyway.</p><p>After waiting for half an hour, she couldn’t take it any longer. In another burst of false confidence, she marched up to Miku (it was completely dead in the store) and demanded to know where he was. Miku, exhausted from everything and not willing to listen to Rin’s incessant whining, finally gave her specific directions to a not-so-inconspicuous alleyway in a secluded area. Apparently, she was the only one who knew about Len’s secret “meeting spot,” so Rin really didn’t understand why Miku had to specify “if you do see him, don’t tell him I sent you!”</p><p>She also added, “Look, girl, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I don’t get mixed up with this shitfest but Len’s a good guy at heart, really, and he’s my friend. So if you see <em> anything</em>, anything at all that could be bad news, <em> get out of there at once</em>.” Normally meek and reclusive, Rin would instantly heed such a warning. However, she had made it this far, and her curiosity was at a peak.</p><p>Expecting a slow, quiet stakeout, Rin was completely taken by surprise upon arrival to see Len, clutching his side and looking around hurriedly but calculatively, exiting the aforementioned alleyway. She rushed toward him without thinking, her impatience overriding her common sense at that point. He blinked in surprise at her appearance, then his face twisted into an expression of pure vexation. </p><p>“What the fuck are you doing here?!” he hissed. </p><p>“You didn’t show up!” she accused hotly.</p><p>“Are you dumb? Get the fuck out of here!”</p><p>It was a little late for that. Out of the corner of her eye, Rin spotted two suspicious figures coming from the alleyway. They nodded in her and Len’s direction, and in a presumed attempt to not attract any attention, began walking casually towards them. </p><p>Instantly recollecting his calm, as if a switch had flipped, Len used his free hand that wasn’t glued to his side to grab hers. “Let’s go.” And in a flash, they were off.</p><p>They ran as fast as they could, with Len leading her through twists and turns she could barely keep up with. Past the library, the post office, countless stores and restaurants than Rin, despite attending uni in this town for two years now, had never even heard of. He led her all the way past 5th Avenue, to her surprise, and when he finally felt comfortable to stop, they collapsed onto a bench under a large, shady tree, trying to catch their breath. Rin took a brief look around and realized they were in the family friendly dog park outside her apartment complex. The perfect public area with children present, also known as the last place for violence and explicit nefariousness to occur.</p><p>Just as she recovered and was about to bombard him with questions, she noticed that he had turned a little pale and was sweating more than expected. Her eyes were drawn down to his hand, still at his side, and noticed a small pool of blood start to bleed through to the hoodie he was wearing. <em> How long had that been there? Had he been sprinting, keeping up with her that whole time in that condition? </em></p><p>“You’re hurt!” she felt panic rise to her throat and an overwhelming feeling of nausea overtook her. Forcing herself to take control of the situation, she grabbed her phone to call an ambulance, but he placed his hand over hers.</p><p>“Not the hospital,” he grunted, “call my phone… Miku.”</p><p>She didn’t know how <em> Miku </em> was going to help, but she listened to him anyway. Everything that happened next went by in a blur. It turned out that Miku had a cousin of an acquaintance of a classmate of a friend that… in any case, knew Len and was his regular low-profile medic. Rin honestly couldn’t believe any of what she was witnessing. What kind of mad lad <em> refused </em> to go to the hospital after being stabbed with a <em> knife </em> ? Who cares what kind of trouble he’d be in with the authorities? His <em> life </em>was at stake here!</p><p>But at Len’s insistence and numerous <em> I’ve had worse </em> utterances, she gave in. The last thing they needed was a nearby meeting spot for Len to get treated, and without missing a beat Rin offered her modest apartment, seeing as it was right in front of them. Brushing away his concerns, she dragged him in, and remained on the phone with the mysterious medic, following his instructions to curb the wound as much as possible while he was on his way. Cleaning, removing clothing, applying pressure — it was the first time she had ever treated someone else, let alone a <em> stab wound </em>. At the end of the day, the medic — who introduced himself as Kaito — praised her for her work, and she was allowed to finally breathe when he finished administering the antibiotics, patched Len up with stitches, and declared him good to go. At that point, the guy was passed out on Rin’s couch, and she didn’t have the heart to wake him up.</p><p>Letting him rest, she pulled herself together, opened up the Google doc and slides that they had worked on separately and spent all night organizing it herself. The next morning, she had left for Len whatever she could scrap together and called it breakfast, leaving a note, telling him not to worry about the project presentation. As she left for class, she felt a little proud of herself for being so nice. The man did kind of deserve it; after all, he was recovering from a goddamn <em> knife wound </em>.</p><p>By the time Len woke up though, Rin had already been home for half an hour, so when he sat up with an impressive bedhead, clutched his side in pain, and blinked at her sleepily, they held awkward eye contact in silence for a bit. Then he noticed the food and note she had left next to him, read it, and turned back to her, nodding.</p><p>"Sorry I overslept. And, thank you."</p><p>“You can thank me by giving me some answers.”</p><p>And so he did. Kind of. After she threatened to call the police on him. He explained that the people he got in a scuffle with were just upset that he had broken a deal he was supposed to handle back in March, and it was nothing but simple payback. </p><p>“But weren’t they trying to kill you?” Rin asked worriedly.</p><p>Len let out a hearty laugh, then realized his mistake as his hand rushed to his side, wincing. “<em> Kill </em> me? That’s way too much of a hassle. I was involved with disorganized gang activity, not the mafia.”</p><p>It was the first time Rin had managed to see him as human as… well, herself. The way he shrugged off bleeding out casually, the way he laughed about it, the way he was still able to appreciate life despite the fact -- she didn’t even want to think what he’d been through in the past — made the way she lived feel so insignificant. She felt a small weight lift off her shoulders, and realized — <em>hey</em>, she didn’t have to believe everything she heard. Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone would take you somewhere unexpected. And maybe that was just what she needed to help her grow. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Rin smiled to herself, eyes still shut, unable to fall asleep as she recounted the memory, something she held close to her heart. It had been utterly ridiculous and frightful at the time, but you didn’t go through something like that with someone and not end up becoming friends. From then on, she hung out with both Len and Miku, appreciating having a couple of no-nonsense, authentic people to finally be friends with amongst academic hell.</p><p>And it was good for her, she realized. Like, <em> really </em>good for her. Miku was a fashion student at the same university and began to constantly drag Rin around on shopping sprees (it was more window-shopping for Rin) as well as “creative sessions,” where they kind of just attempted to do yoga or meditate at Miku’s place in order to find their “inner creator.” Most of the time, Rin just gave up, but it gave her good time to practice her sketches or work on her projects while Miku strained in silence, waiting for epiphanic genius to hit her.</p><p>Len had changed her life in a way that she didn’t expect. He had thanked her for effectively saving his life and helping him out even though she was under no obligation to. But as the two began their friendship, they learned that while they had each come from different backgrounds and generally stayed out of the center of attention, both were incredibly stubborn and clashed often. The two of them became something of rivals, striving to one-up each other in the most trivial of situations and managing to make a competition of <em> anything</em>, much to Miku’s exasperation. Rin realized that he was actually a lot more childish and adventurous than the rumors had led on (farewell, dark and dangerous aura), and that being with him was <em> fun</em>. It was the most fun she had had since she was a kid, and his happy-go-lucky attitude helped her loosen up a lot and not constantly stress over her never-ending to-do list. On the other hand, she had managed to help him with his studies, show him how to organize himself, and that university wasn’t as intimidating as he had initially thought.</p><p>Realizing that she was on a trip down memory lane and sleep was a faraway dream now, Rin got up from her couch to make another cup of cocoa. Her head was now in turmoil, recalling the reason she had even hit Miku up that ungodly Tuesday night.    </p><p>When she and Len had gotten together, it was in the heat of the moment. A drunken kiss led to exposed repressed feelings, and she had been on cloud nine for about two months before the insecurity began to eat away at her psyche. Her conversation with Miku was now playing in her head on repeat.</p><p><em> “Don’t get me wrong, he treats me well,” Rin sniffled. “But it’s weird! He treats me </em> too <em> nicely, even better than before we were dating! It’s kind of awkward and I don’t know why… it just feels like we’ve been becoming more and more distant…”  </em></p><p>
  <em> “Maybe he’s still in the honeymoon phase and he’s not sure how to act?” Miku suggested. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But don’t you think it’s weird that he rejects all my advances?” </em>
</p><p><em> “What do you mean?” Miku really enjoyed teasing the girl. </em>  </p><p>
  <em> Rin gripped her face in mental anguish. “Don’t make me say it! SEXUAL ADVANCES, OBVIOUSLY!” She collapsed onto the table. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Miku cocked her head to the side. “I have a feeling your idea of ‘sexual advances’ isn’t the same as Len’s.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Purposefully ignoring her friend’s words, Rin asked another question quietly. “He won’t tell me the details of his past life, and I don’t know how to feel about that.” </em>
</p><p><em> “Rin, the reason he doesn’t talk about it is because he wants to </em> protect <em> you. He’s not proud of it.” </em></p><p>
  <em> “I know…” she trailed off, looking off into the distance. “You used to be friends with him before he left that behind. And you told me he used to have… girlfriends?” </em>
</p><p><em> “ </em> Not <em> girlfriends,” Miku corrected sternly. “Friends with bennies, at best. They were mostly using him too.” As Rin opened her mouth to speak, Miku cut her off. “ </em> And <em> he would make me protect him a lot from those girls who came to the store looking for him after he cut ties with them. I should also mention, after cutting ties with them a whole six months before asking you out.” </em></p><p>
  <em> “Look, I don’t think he’s cheating on me or anything, but,” Rin’s fidgeting increased tenfold, “what if he misses their… sex? What if I don’t have what they had and that’s why he’s being like this?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Miku waved her hand flippantly. “Lily and Seeu were both blonde too!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, and what do they both have that I don’t? Long hair and boobs!” </em>
</p><p><em> “Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous.” Miku leaned back and crossed her arms. “I’ve seen that man make enough eyes at you to know that he likes what he sees.” She bent forward to grab Rin’s hands again. “Look, I don’t know why Len is being like this exactly. But if you want something, you need to </em> go <em> for it. You can’t be Miss Tentative all the time.” </em></p><p>
  <em> “What do you mean?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You guys have a date this Saturday, right? Come shopping with me after class tomorrow and we’ll get you something cute. Then the rest is up to you!” </em>
</p><p>Despite Rin’s adamant declinations, she caved in after Miku jabbed a finger at her face and snarled, “Don’t even try to argue with me — I’ve seen that mess you call a wardrobe.” Sighing and stirring her cocoa, her eyes drifted to the dress they had bought for the occasion, hanging on a lampstand in the middle of the living room because she was a clown and loved looking at it and second-guessing herself. </p><p>It wasn’t anything crazy, really. Just not something Rin would normally choose. She had a knack for being plain and unassuming. <em> Practical</em>, she calls it; <em> prissy</em>, Miku retorts. She tilted her head, examining the dress once more. It was simple, lacy, and white, matching her signature bow perfectly. The top was short-sleeved, off the shoulder, and showed off her collarbone nicely. <em> Perfect for accessorizing, </em> Miku had said. The bottom was a short ruffled skirt, a very, very, very, short ruffled skirt. <em> This is perfect, </em> Miku had beamed, <em> it’s like the top says good church girl but the bottom screams ‘fuck me!’ </em>Rin shook her head vehemently. She really needed to get Miku’s terrible advice and opinions out of her head. Everything would be fine. She was prepared now. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next night, on Saturday, everything was, in fact, fine. A little <em> too </em>fine. Len had picked her up at the agreed time, they had done the cliché dinner-and-a-movie shebang, and everything was absolutely, one hundred percent fine.</p><p><em> It was too fine! Too normal! Too boring! </em>Rin was screaming in her head. Len had been the perfect gentleman all night, grabbing her hand to escort her out of his car, holding the door open for her, making sure she walked on the inner side of the sidewalk… oh, it was all so horribly formal. She had to admit, in the beginning of their relationship, it was nice. But there was something about it that felt so odd as the days had gone on, as if there was a barrier she couldn’t penetrate. </p><p>Even the way he complimented her was boring! All he had said was she looked nice in her new clothes. No spit-take, no stolen glances, no suggestive remarks, not even a picture of her for his lock screen… maybe he <em> had </em> seen it all, and she really just wasn’t enough, she thought sadly. Her chances of success were looking slimmer and slimmer as the night went on.</p><p>But not all hope was lost. She wasn’t going to let him go for the night, no. As they were strolling hand in hand down the quiet beach boardwalk, Rin looked over to the ocean, contemplative, as it pounded away rhythmically, wave after wave. </p><p>“Can I stay over tonight, Len?” she asked quietly, still staring at the water, not meeting his eyes. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been to his place countless times before, but she had never explicitly asked to stay the night like this. The most they had done was cuddle down cozy and watch Netflix all night without the chill.</p><p>“Uh- sure, but why?” </p><p>God, he was so clueless. Rin’s instinctive response would be to come up with some kind of excuse — “the gas leak at my place is getting fixed” type bullshit. But she felt a surge of defensiveness at his innocent question, and her eyes started to sting. <em> Why </em> did she have to justify her wanting to stay over to her own boyfriend’s place? Was it a crime to want to spend more time with your partner? Weren’t normal couples doing this all the time? Did he have something to hide? Did he just not want her to? And why didn’t he, if that was the case?</p><p>Pushing aside all the burning questions in her heart, she forced herself to look at him, stabilizing her voice as much as possible. “Can’t I?”</p><p>He must’ve caught on, for he saw the tears sparkling in her eyes, threatening to spill, and his expression changed instantly. Pulling her into a tight embrace, he placed a chaste kiss to her temple and whispered <em> of course she could </em>, sending shivers down her spine. She smiled shakily to herself, the reassurance temporarily giving her strength.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Len had been bothered all night. Rin was acting weird and impatient, and he could tell something was clearly wrong. When he had picked her up, he had nearly choked at the sight of her, gorgeous, dolled up, in a white dress he was sure she had bought specifically for the occasion. As she had climbed into the car and was getting settled, his eyes lingered on her chest, accentuated nicely with a simple gold chain with a circular pendant, down to her thighs which <em> he could see more of today than usual- </em> but the last thing he wanted to do was have his mind wander and creep her out, so he tore his gaze away and complimented her properly, as one does, he thought. If there was anything Kagamine Len was good at, it was keeping a smooth poker face.</p><p>However, throughout the night, she was antsy. Len knew her tells — fidgeting, biting the inside of her cheek, subconsciously tugging on her right earlobe — and he tried everything in his power to just <em> do everything right </em> for her sake. But for some reason, it wasn’t working. He felt a terrible sense of dread begin to seize him as he imagined all that could go wrong because he made a mistake he wasn’t aware of, and that the night would end with her breaking his heart. Just as he was about to ask her what was wrong, because clearly it wasn’t getting better, she had turned to him and abruptly asked to stay at his place for the night. She had looked at him with tearful, doe-like eyes, flushed and trembling, and something in him ignited in painful internal conflict. His heart had clenched and he felt like he had been knifed in the gut repeatedly and he couldn’t handle it — he had to hold her, to feel her, to tell her <em> yes, anything she needed</em>.</p><p>When they got back to his dingy, cramped apartment that he hated (part of the reason he was embarrassed to bring her here every time), he shrugged off his jacket, heart racing and brain working rapidly, searching for the right words to say. He turned around and opened his mouth, but before he could say a word, she had grabbed his wrist and pushed herself against his body, burying her face in his chest.</p><p>He grabbed her shoulders, pushing her back in worry. “What’s wro-”</p><p>She had already captured his lips in one swift motion, hands fisting desperately at the fabric of his shirt. Like clockwork, he felt a primal instinct overtake him, placing one hand on her upper back and the other on the small of it. He pulled her closer, lips moving in perfect synchrony with hers, a slow heat rising. He stifled a moan as her tongue slipped into his mouth and she slowly pushed him against a wall, trapping him. Her fragrance was strategic — a tropical blend infused with the green notes of banana leaves, and it drove him crazy; his hands began to trail around to her front, gripping her waist. As they continued their make-out session, his fingers itched to roam her body, slowly traveling upwards, higher and higher, until they grazed the bottom of her petite breasts and something like cold rocks hit the bottom of his stomach, bringing him back to reality.</p><p>This wasn’t right. This wasn’t normal, this wasn’t how Rin normally acted and he knew, he knew better than anyone what it was like to feel frustrated and angry, and to use lust as a way to cope. It was a way to forget about the world for ten minutes, an hour or two… however long it took to make the pain go away. But it never fixed anything. It only ever made things worse. Not wanting Rin to go down that all-too-familiar spiral, he — with great effort — pushed on her shoulders and pried her off of him, lips parting with a loud, wet smack.</p><p>“No, stop, this isn’t right-”</p><p>“WHY?!” she cried without hesitation, loudly. </p><p>“You need to tell me what’s wrong-”</p><p>“Why won’t you sleep with me?!” </p><p>That was the last thing he had expected to come out of her mouth. “Excuse me?” he blinked in confusion.</p><p>“Look, I know you care about me,” she started, “and you’ve been really good to me these past few months, but if you’re not attracted to me, just <em> say it</em>, please, because I can’t take this anymore-”</p><p>“Who said I wasn’t attracted to you?” </p><p>“You haven’t made a single move or taken any of my hints! I know this isn’t your first rodeo, so there must be something wrong with me!”</p><p>“You never told me that was what you wanted!” He grew defensive, never imagining in his wildest dreams he’d be having this conversation.</p><p>“You really don’t think it should have happened by now?!”</p><p>“I- I didn’t think you were ready, I didn’t want to rush things!”</p><p>“Don’t patronize me! I’m not - I’m not a child! And Miku <em> said</em>,” Rin paused.</p><p>“Miku said <em> what</em>?”</p><p>Rin shook her head, looking down and refusing to speak. He pushed away from the wall she had driven him into, backing her up until she hit the kitchen counter on the opposite side. He grabbed the bottom of her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, and repeated himself. </p><p>“Miku — said — what.”</p><p>They held eye contact for a few tension-filled seconds, Rin’s lip quivering the entire time. She pulled her face away from his hand and exclaimed, “She said you were a horndog!”</p><p>When Len didn’t speak, words still processing in his head, Rin continued. “I’ve been trying to get your attention, but you’ve been so confusing all this time, so hard to read-”</p><p>“Oh, <em> I’m </em>the one who’s hard to read?” </p><p>He felt his temper flare up. At lightning speed, he lifted her up and dropped her roughly on the counter, planting himself between her legs so she was forced to straddle him. He pushed himself against her roughly, making her lean back as far as possible. She hit the wall hard, letting out a yelp — but before she could collect herself, he pressed his lips to her neck and grabbed her wrists, rendering her immobile.</p><p>“You think,” he snarled, breathing heavily, “this has been — <em>easy — </em>for me?”</p><p>He peppered her neck with kisses, searching for sensitivities he had only dreamed of before. Settling on a spot right above her left collarbone where her breath hitched, he sucked on it hard, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. Feeling a sense of triumph, he moved his hands to her knees, while her arms, now free, reached up to clasp around his neck, pulling him closer.</p><p>“I’ve always — <em>always —</em> held back, for your sake,” he continued, “because I didn’t want you to think that was what I was all about.” He pressed his forehead against hers, noses touching and lips grazing against each other’s every time he spoke. Her breathing was staggered, but she was staring at him, eyes half-lidded and misty, hanging on to his every word. His hands slid up her thighs slowly, agonizingly, and moved sharply to cup her already-exposed ass, thanks to that short skirt. She yelped in surprise, which only prompted him to squeeze harder.</p><p>“You come in here,” he held her tightly, “looking like <em> that—</em>” his hands began to rub roughly, kneading the exposed expanse of creamy skin, and she tensed. “It’s not fair,” he finished softly, and leaned forward gently to bury his face in her chest.</p><p>He paused for a second, and just as Rin was about to ask if something was wrong, his hands moved upward, pulling the top of her dress down. Overwhelmed by her softness, his body was moving automatically at this point, driven by the fervor, the absolute <em> need </em> to have her, because she was <em> everything </em>. He was holding her up at this point, one hand returning to cup her bottom and the other wrapped around her back, as he continued nuzzling her breasts. </p><p>“Len… <em> haa... </em>” she whimpered, and the sound of her voice so pleading nearly pushed him over the edge. Tearing herself away from her body for a second, he forced himself to look at her face, and reality came crashing down all over again. </p><p>She was flushed, breathless, and dazed — absolutely <em> stunning </em>, and most of all, vulnerable. Feeling a pit of guilt reopen in his gut, he turned red as a tomato, feeling like nothing but a schoolboy with a crush for the first time. He hung his head, fearing that if he kept staring into her eyes, he would disintegrate under the pressure.</p><p>“Are you — <em>huff —</em> are you okay?” Rin questioned gently.</p><p>He bit his lip hard, not understanding how she always managed to be so kind to him. He wasn’t sure what he had done to get someone as stupidly sincere as she was to notice him, to accept him, but it wasn’t an opportunity he was going to take lightly. There wasn’t room for any more error in his waste of a life.</p><p>“I can’t,” he spoke slowly, his voice shaking, “I can’t fuck this up.”</p><p>She reached out a hand to cup his face gently. “Fuck what up?”</p><p>“I’ve-” he took a quick glance at her face, feeling himself heat up once more, “I’ve never… been in love before. I can’t fuck it up.” He’d never said that out loud before.</p><p>He felt her tense up again, and before a panic attack could override his system, she pulled his face in gently for a kiss. It was soft and slow, maybe something that they both needed, he wasn’t quite sure. The tenderness was almost too much to bear, but she refused to let go, hands caressing all over his face, running through his hair gently, as if she was casting a magic spell of pure serenity.</p><p>He’d never been kissed like that before. When they finally parted, he could only look down in shame, feeling like a child who’d been caught in the act. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he offered meekly, as he grabbed her hand and slowly interlocked their fingers. She giggled, squeezing his hand back in a gesture of comfort. </p><p>“Thank you,” she smiled, tilting his head up to her level, “but I don’t mind waiting until <em> you’re </em> ready.” He laughed weakly at her retort, pulling her off the counter so they could fix themselves and get ready for a night of cuddling in front of the TV.</p><p>It was a step forward, regardless.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>      </p><p>  </p><p>   </p><p>
  
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this came out way longer than I intended it to but enjoy anyway! horny with a side of fluff and gumiku, please forgive my drawn out descriptions and vague shitass plotline thanks. I dont know how writing works</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ever since the incident, things had started to become more comfortable between the two. Gone were the days of awkward teenager-like formalities, and Rin was beyond relieved and ecstatic that they had managed to open up a new stage of their relationship. Although the two had agreed to take it slow, at a natural pace, there was an unspoken spark that had ignited, silently waiting to burn them up. Tensions had risen significantly, now that both sides were aware that it was mutual. With a feeling of excited satisfaction, Rin was much more pleased to get increasingly touchy-feely in all manner of ways, even if it wasn’t exactly suggestive. She grabbed onto his arm playfully more often in public, unafraid to run her fingers up and down absentmindedly as she chattered on about something or another. She was also much more keen in kissing him whenever she wanted, whenever he made her unequivocally happy (which he did almost too often), unashamed to proclaim her affections loudly and cheerfully.</p><p>Len, being unnecessarily complicated, having left behind a life of crime only a year and a half ago, was caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, Rin’s overwhelming sweetness and love was something he couldn’t get enough of. He looked forward to weekends when he could have her for the whole night, laying his head on her soft, comforting thighs as she ran her hands through his hair and scalp, wondering how much luckier a person could get. On the other hand, it was still nearly as agonizing as before, because both of them were waiting for the other to make the first move, and thus a strange waiting game had begun. That is, until a certain incident spun the gears one day.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It had started innocently enough. During spring break, an upperclassman in the fashion department named Luka had asked Miku to invite some friends to join her and her sister on a road trip down to a quaint, rustic little farming town which had become something of a historic landmark and tourist destination. Rin had initially tried to decline, saying she needed to work over break and that she couldn’t afford the trip anyway. Miku had whined and wailed, crying that if Rin didn’t go Len wouldn’t either, and things just wouldn’t be the same without the two of them and she was trying to get into a cute green-haired girl’s pants that she was inviting, and that she needed the mental support if she failed, and-</p><p>“All right, all right, jeez! It’s only for one night, right?” Rin rubbed the back of her head in exhaustion.</p><p>“I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you…!” Miku jumped up and down as she nearly strangled Rin to death by hug, promising to cover both Rin and Len’s expenses, which gave Rin a bit of relief.</p><p>That relief quickly turned to annoyance when Rin found out that Miku hadn’t accounted for the fact that she expected six people to fit in Luka’s four-seater convertible. </p><p>The cool-headed upperclassman tried her best to stop Rin from killing Miku, and smiled reassuringly, insisting that they could work something out. </p><p>“Easy peasy,” Miku had smirked, smacking her hands against each other in a “job well done” motion, “Luka drives, Ia takes the passenger seat, I’ll sit in the back with Len and Gumi. And, uh, Rin’s the tiniest, so she can just sit on Len’s lap or something.” </p><p>Len, who was taking a swig from his water flask, immediately spit all of it out rather dramatically, then quickly rubbed his face with his arm roughly to feign nonchalance. </p><p>“I don’t know how to tell you this, Meeks, but… that’s kind of dangerous? It’s a pretty long drive and we don’t want Rin getting hurt-” </p><p>Miku’s nostrils flared, and she marched up to Len, hoping her whole two inches of extra height over him would intimidate the punk. “<em> Listen </em> to me, Kagamine,” she snarled, grabbing him fiercely by the collar and whispering threateningly under her breath, “after everything I’ve done for you, this should be a <em> cakewalk </em> . You are going to hold on to her tightly, and keep her safe, and thank me later for <em> getting you laid</em>, because God knows you need it-”</p><p>Len then pressed his hand against Miku’s mouth, and stated unflinchingly, “I will do it if you shut the fuck up, please.”</p><p>That seemed to please Miku, and she skipped off happily toward Gumi, who seemed highly amused by everything, grabbing her arm and jabbering excitedly about the trip. </p><p>When they were on the road, Rin was surprised at how comfortable the seating arrangement actually was. This wasn’t her first time in Len’s lap for an extended period of time, and whenever she needed to stretch, she’d arch her back and lean forward, hugging the passenger seat in front of her and joining in Luka and Ia’s conversation. Miku and Gumi were huddled together in their own world, watching something on Miku’s phone with shared earbuds, and seemed entirely secluded from the rest of the universe. Len had his arms firmly wrapped around Rin’s stomach, and had drifted off to sleep while listening to music. </p><p>After about forty minutes of driving, Rin noticed that Ia had fallen asleep mid-conversation, so she leaned back and looked to her left, and saw that Gumi had taken a nap on Miku’s shoulder. Miku was looking out the window with a hand on her chin, and although Rin couldn’t see her face, the tips of her ears were bright red, causing the blonde to snicker lightly. </p><p><em> It’s going well,</em> she thought happily, <em> and I was worried for nothing</em>. Content, she decided to lean back against Len, when she suddenly felt something suspiciously stiff poking the underside of her thigh. Innocent and unaware, she shifted around a bit to try and get comfortable again, when, suddenly frustrated, she reached underneath her to move the damn thing.</p><p>And then she realized. Slowly, she turned her head around to look at Len, who she had thought was very <em> asleep</em>, and was met with him glaring at her, red-faced. </p><p><em> Seriously? </em>she mouthed at him. </p><p><em> Your fault, </em> he shot back.</p><p>She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but decided to spare the man the embarrassment and turned back around, trying to settle back into her previous comfort and ignore it. Although she simply couldn’t help but shift around awkwardly.</p><p>Five minutes went by, then ten, then fifteen. And Len’s erection simply refused to subside.</p><p>Desperate to save him from the discomfort, Rin leaned forward to get Luka’s attention.</p><p>“How much longer till we’re there, Luka?”</p><p>“Hmm… I’d say we still have a good ‘nother thirty-five minutes or so.”</p><p>Rin sighed in defeat, and was about to turn back around to apologize to Len when he suddenly yanked her back and whispered, “Stop moving, damn it.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>He had a threatening glint in his eyes, and his brows furrowed as if he were in pain. He pressed his mouth flush against her ear and spoke lowly. “It’s turning me on.”</p><p>His breath was warm and ticklish, causing her to shiver rather violently, which was most definitely <em> not </em>helping the situation. Was he doing this on purpose? She couldn’t tell if he wanted her to stop or if he was actually enjoying this. Feeling annoyed that he managed to get her flustered by merely… talking to her, she felt a sudden surge of daring course through her veins, a determination to one-up him festering. With a sudden jolt, she grinded her butt down on him in a rough and unmistakably deliberate manner, eliciting a yelp which he managed to disguise as a cough at the last minute. </p><p>Quickly, Rin looked around the car, and as before, everyone was either knocked out or not paying attention. Smug, she glanced at Len again, attempting to adorn her sexiest look (why hadn’t she practiced in the mirror before?). It seemed to work, though, because he was scowling, and had dug his fingers into her hips, trying to hold her still, but really it only brought her closer to him, increasing the tortuous friction. </p><p>“You’ll be sorry if you keep this up,” he hissed at her, but there was a playful edge in his voice that seemed to egg her on.</p><p>“Sorry, what was that?” As she pretended to not hear him, she began moving her hips subtly, in circles, as she positioned her crotch strategically. It was fun, to hear his suppressed groans and to see him bite his lip hard; it was fun to know she had such <em> power </em>over Mr. Nothing-Fazes-Me. She ground down continuously, putting more pressure each time, and before she could realize she was getting tired, her body was moving automatically.</p><p>To both her euphoria and horror, she was beginning to enjoy this. <em> A lot </em> . Every time his member poked against her clothed entrance, she felt a weird sense of blissful weightlessness, and found herself moving harder, faster, to get more of a taste. It was like bait every time she felt it, and amplified as he slid his hands up to her waist slowly. His skin was so warm, and he was holding her so securely, she couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of elation, like she was riding up, up, and up on a roller coaster, not knowing when the drop was coming. It was so teasing, and such a <em> new </em>sensation to be receiving pleasure from another body as opposed to all the nights alone in her bed, that she let her jaw drop and a little sigh escape involuntarily.  </p><p>The minute she did that, she knew she had lost. She had been grinding on him for a good ten minutes now, and it was getting a little much for her to bear. Highly embarrassed, she stopped abruptly and turned around, only to see Len with the most annoying smirk on his face. He pulled her toward him so that her back was pressed against his chest, and positioned his backpack — which had been in her lap — so that it formed a sort of barrier between them and Gumi. He then proceeded to slip one hand under her loose skirt while the other returned to wrap securely around her stomach. Rin was gripping on to the front of her shirt tightly, shaking in anticipation. As if on cue, his fingers nimbly slipped into her panties to rub against her vulva, to which they both widened their eyes in surprise.</p><p>She was wet. Soaking, sopping, wet, and she had no idea until he touched her. An intertwining combination of shame and excitement overtook her, and she was too exhausted at this point to fight it. She was absolutely determined to <em> not </em>look at him and give him the satisfaction of seeing her face as he fingered her. He rubbed against the slick surface, and poked around her folds before finding what he was looking for. When his fingertip brushed against her clit, her hand flew up to her mouth to cover her gasp, and he began to move provokingly, in a circular motion. </p><p>It only took several strokes for Rin to grasp his arm tightly to stop him, because as embarrassing as it was, she was coming close and didn’t think she could hold up any longer due to the added tension. She braced herself for him to continue, because Len would jump at any chance to taunt her, when his hand moved lower suddenly, seeking the source of her juices.</p><p>She turned her head around quickly to look at him in shock, and his eyes were questioning.</p><p><em> Can I? </em> he mouthed, his expression humble and serious.</p><p>A million emotions flooded her brain, but before she could make sense of any of it, her overwhelming desire for his touch dominated her and she nodded nervously. Carefully, he inserted his middle finger into her, and she screwed her eyes shut and tensed up at the invasion.</p><p>It wasn’t painful, thankfully, due to her own experience with herself, but it was foreign, definitely weird, and slightly uncomfortable. He began to move slowly, in and out, and she gripped onto his arm tightly, adjusting her pressure to her comfort level. After a couple of minutes, he felt every muscle in her body relax, which he took as a positive sign. With caution, he gradually slipped his index finger inside as well, and increased his speed. Rin had her head turned towards the window, panting as lightly and inconspicuously as possible. </p><p>It went on for a while, him, unable to get his hands off of her; her, hanging on for dear life at the overwhelming sensation. It was easier to deal with than when he had rubbed her clit, for she had felt like she was going to <em> scream,</em> but the repeated intrusion of his fingers made her weak and strained, and shamefully desperate. </p><p>All of a sudden, Luka spoke. “We’re almost there, Rin! Could you wake everyone up?”</p><p>Len retracted his hands at lightning speed and the two adjusted themselves to their prior, less suspicious position, while Rin hurriedly collected herself. She leaned over to shake Gumi awake gently, to Miku’s happiness, who grabbed the green-haired girl’s hand and excitedly pointed out the window.</p><p>“Look guys, farms! Cows! Animals! Amazing!” The two girls began chattering animatedly, pushing and leaning into one another flirtatiously. </p><p>Rin breathed a sigh of relief before turning to glare at Len. A silent set of sparks passed between them as she looked into his mischievous eyes, and he raised his hand to reveal his fingers, completely covered in <em> her.</em> Humiliated beyond belief, she watched, cheeks puffed in irritation, as he slowly, tauntingly placed his fingers in his mouth and sucked them clean. Before she could say anything, Luka was already pulling up to the tiniest driveway of the tiniest cottage Rin had ever seen. </p><p>“I’ve missed this place so much!” Ia exclaimed, as she scrambled to get out of the car once it was parked.</p><p>As the group was gathering their luggage, Rin didn’t have time to confront Len as she was bombarded with a lengthy exposition to the historical significance of the town’s foundations by Ia, whose eyes were sparkling dangerously. As she kept an ear open to the other girl’s ramblings, she caught Len’s eye, who merely stuck his tongue out at her in a mock victory gesture.</p><p>God, this was going to be a long trip.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>For some unknown reason, Luka had thought it was perfectly fine for all six of them to share a room, with futons laid out on the floor sleepover style. It was the first time Miku had grumbled at all during the trip, dampening the mood that she had tried so hard to lift up prior. After a lengthy complaint and claiming that she wanted to be left alone for a bit to rest, she immediately laid down on one of the futons and draped a handkerchief over her eyes in an exaggerated manner.</p><p>Ia had not stopped her lecture on dairy farming and sustainable agronomic practices, and, thankful for Rin to be the only one half listening, rushed to drag her off to her old favorite dairy plant to teach her how to milk cows. Rin, slightly reluctant but unable to commit to decisions, gave Len a sheepish smile before being hauled off into the agricultural abyss.</p><p>This left Len in a cumbersome predicament, with the only person he actually knew — a certain very melodramatic pigtailed girl — throwing a theatrical tantrum and dozing off. He shuffled around the cottage awkwardly, although it was so miniscule there wasn’t much to look at, when he felt a gentle double tap on his shoulder.</p><p>Gumi was standing there, smiling nervously. “Luka said she has some stuff to take care of here, and since there’s nothing to do, I was wondering if you wanted to go exploring with me for a bit?”</p><p>“What about Miku?”</p><p>“She’s… y’know,” Gumi twiddled her fingers, “she’s asleep right now. And, I actually wanted to, um, talk to you about something, so.”</p><p>Curiosity piqued, he obliged, and off they went. There honestly wasn’t much to do in town — lots of wide open, empty fields that could give you nightmares in the dark, the smell of damp soil in every corner; it took them a while to find civilization of some sort on foot. When they finally stumbled upon the town square, they were surprised to find that it was bustling with life, with locals and tourists forming crowds at every open store.</p><p>Eventually, they settled on a quaint little café on the quieter side of town, and it wasn’t long after they ordered their drinks when Gumi couldn’t contain herself any longer.</p><p>“What did you wanna talk ab-”</p><p>“I really like Miku,” she spouted suddenly, looking down at the table.</p><p>The waitress came by to set their beverages down, and Len took some time stirring his drink trying to think of something to say. He was definitely one of the last people to ask for <em> love advice</em>, of all things.</p><p>“You,” he hesitated, then clicked his tongue loudly, “have interesting taste.”</p><p>Sighing in defeat, Gumi flopped her upper body onto the table. “I can’t help it — she’s so stupid, and so brash, but also so <em> beautiful</em>, I mean, you get it, right? Like, from back then?”</p><p>“From back… when?”</p><p>“Y’know, when you guys used to date.”</p><p>It was the second time Len had done a spit take since the beginning of this trip and he was getting a bit sick of it.</p><p>“We’ve <em> never </em> - I would never in a million years- I love her but it’s never been <em> like that</em>, also she’s like, lowkey highkey batshit, not that you can’t be into that, I, uh-”</p><p>“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I just, I just assumed, since you’ve known her for a while and what with your reputation and all…”</p><p>He felt a small pang of guilt chip at him. Was this what Rin had to deal with on the daily? Gossip that her boyfriend used to be a gangster and slept with everyone he met? He’d have to make it up to her later. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, he forced himself to focus on Gumi’s situation.</p><p>Waving his hand, he shrugged it off. “It’s fine, I deserve it. And about Miku, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. She seems really into you.”</p><p>“You think so?” She looked at him with hopeful tears in her eyes, looking like a fragile puppy.</p><p>Honestly, he hadn’t really been paying attention to them, but Rin had relayed all of Miku’s gossip to him, so he didn’t feel bad buttering her up. “Yeah, without a doubt. Miku can be a lot to deal with, but she’s honest and straightforward. Definitely not the type to lead you on.” He nodded, satisfied with his answer.</p><p>Gumi felt a small grin creep onto her face. “I’m really happy she invited me on this trip. Even if the place is less than ideal.”</p><p>“Why don’t you spend some alone time with her?” he blurted out. <em> Speak for yourself, man. </em></p><p>She looked up at him quizzically, prompting him to continue. </p><p>“Uh, err… didn’t Luka and her sister say they have to go to some annual… ranching convention or something like that tonight? Miku probably won’t be up for a while, and we could just. Leave you guys alone in the house for the evening.”</p><p>“What will you and Rin do? There isn’t much to do around here. Unless you’re gonna go to that convention...”</p><p>“Don’t worry about us,” he reassured, “we need some alone time too, I think. Uh, we can find somewhere quiet to hang out and talk. Or something.” <em> Or something.</em></p><p>Len spent the rest of the hour bolstering Gumi’s confidence and listening to her ramble about her crush until the sun was about to set. Encouraged and inspired, Gumi thanked him repeatedly for his advice, and the two returned to the cottage, only to behold a comically sad sight.</p><p>Everyone was sitting at the dining table, with Luka looking concerned and Ia looking obliviously cheerful. Miku had wrapped herself in blankets and was sniffling as she hugged herself tightly and cried spitefully about how <em> if they were all gonna sleep together, they might as well spend the whole night together,</em> and Rin was sprawled out on the table, looking positively exhausted.</p><p>However, it only took one whisper in the ear from Gumi for Miku to perk up instantly and giggle uncontrollably. Suddenly, she went from mopey to being adamant that everyone left <em> immediately, </em> right now, because she and Gumi had Very Important Things to discuss. </p><p>Luka was a very kind and patient person, but even she didn’t really know how to deal with Miku’s random mood swings. Sighing, she pulled Len aside and quietly offered for him and Rin to take her car, because she and Ia were carpooling with a fellow convention goer and she felt bad for them. </p><p>Despite his declinations, she pushed the keys into his hand and stormed out of the cottage with Ia in a rush. Left standing with Miku glaring daggers at him, he quickly hauled a listless Rin up on his back and uttered a soft “let’s go” before he was murdered in his sleep tonight.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Rin slurred.</p><p>“Dunno,” he confessed, “but we’ll figure it out.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It took until Len found a spot to park for Rin to wake up. Looking pleased from her twenty-minute power nap, she surveyed their surroundings. Len had found the dirt pathway for vehicles Luka tipped him off about privately, and had driven far enough that he found a patch of high ground overlooking acres and acres of an impressive crop field. Lowering the roof, they were elevated enough that a nice breeze blew through the cool night, adding to the peaceful ambience. </p><p>“Romantic enough for ya?” Len joked as he reached in the back seat for his backpack.</p><p>“Ugh, anything’s better than lubricating cow teats.”</p><p>He snorted, and pulled out his laptop and an array of snacks and sweets.</p><p>“It’s not a regular movie night, but,” he said, passing her her favorite chips, “I really needed to be alone with you. Just, away from all the noise.”</p><p>Due to Len’s not-so-meticulous planning, ten minutes into the movie, his laptop died.</p><p>“Ah, fuck. Hold on, I’ve got a battery pack in here- wait, shit, I forgot my cable-”</p><p>“Maybe Luka has one in here,” Rin said as she searched the glove compartment. Her eyes were drawn to a small, discernible package, and she looked up at Len, amused. “You shouldn’t keep your condoms in the car, you know that, right?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes in an attempt to play it cool. “I <em> just </em>brought them with me, they’re fine.” There was a pregnant pause, and he looked at her, adjusting to a softer tone. “Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to, Rin.”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything,” she said quietly, but interlocked her fingers with his and leaned her seat back to look up at the sky. “I’ve already seen this movie anyway, and look, you can actually see the stars way out here in the boonies.”</p><p>Letting the topic shift slide, he followed her lead. “Huh. So you can.”</p><p>A serene lull washed over them as they stargazed, hand in hand. It was a picturesque scene, emitting a tranquility one could only wish for in a busy college life, but the elephant in the car seemed to grow larger and larger as the minutes ticked by. When Len suddenly gave her hand a tight squeeze, she glanced at him questioningly.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he said softly, forcing himself to meet her eyes.</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“That… that you have to put up with my past,” he began, “and the things people say about me. About us.”</p><p>To his surprise, she laughed. Leaning over her seat toward his, she cupped his cheeks and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to his lips.</p><p>“If any of that bothered me, would I still be here with you now?”</p><p>Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her upper body closer. “But it <em> does </em> bother you. I know it does. Otherwise we wouldn’t have had that misunderstanding last month.”</p><p>She hesitated, but nestled into his embrace. “I’m… learning. To deal with my emotions,” she looked up at him pleadingly, “and I know you are too. But I want to work through it together.”</p><p>His heart was clenching again, whenever she gave him those innocent doe-like eyes, and he tilted her chin up, pressing his forehead and nose against hers. “I love you.” He kissed her.</p><p>They couldn’t get enough of each other, really, as their lips and tongues met over and over again in a jumbled mess of repressed desire. Her hands were all up on his head, caressing his hair, the nape of his neck, rubbing his earlobes affectionately. She felt the sensation from the previous car ride return to her, the <em> high,</em> striking the pits of her belly and stimulating her core. She broke the kiss and pushed away abruptly, panting.</p><p>“What were you playing at, earlier?” she whispered, “In the car.”</p><p><em> "You </em>started it,” he chuckled, then pulled her back in close gently, “was it… okay?”</p><p>She suddenly got shy again, nodding tentatively. “Is there… more where that came from?” Her tone was thick and dripping with honey, but she had already thrown all shame out the window.</p><p>“Come and find out.” He lunged at her, pushing her back into her seat and kissing her again. And again and again.</p><p>It wasn’t long before he had put the roof of the convertible back up and thrown Rin in the back seat. It was pure instinct for the both of them, and it all happened so fast. He had shrugged his tee over his head haphazardly, pulling the buttons off Rin’s shirt and unhooking her bra with one-handed expertise.</p><p>She was engulfed by the thrill, allowing him to do as he pleased, and actually <em> enjoying </em>the feeling of being violated by him. With her head up in the clouds, she hadn’t noticed that he had gotten down on the floor, pushed her legs open and her underwear aside, and-</p><p>“<em> AAHHHnn- </em>!” It was the loudest moan she had ever produced in her life, and she clapped her hand over her mouth. </p><p>“It’s okay, you can be loud, no one’s gonna hear,” he reassured her, then continued lapping at her clit. </p><p>It was the most intense dualism of agony and bliss she had ever been in. Len alternated between slow, circular motions and fast flicks, and his hands would wander around her waist and hips, not allowing her to leave. Not that she wanted to, as she found herself pressing against his mouth frantically, whimpering continuously and begging for him to push her over the edge. <em> I’m so pathetic</em>, she thought to herself as she shamelessly used her hands to push his head into her more.</p><p>He was relentless with his ministrations, and before he could even get tired, Rin came violently right into his mouth, loudly. The drop from the high was beyond exhilarating, and she could only see stars on the backs of her eyelids. It wasn’t her first orgasm, but God, was it her most intense one. </p><p>“W-wow,” she managed to get out, “t-that was… wow.”</p><p>He chuckled lightly, and rose up from the floor to grab his shirt. </p><p>“Wait,” she stopped him, “aren’t you going to…?”</p><p>He looked at her, wide-eyed. “Are- are you sure you want-”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>It was a simple request that he was more than eager to oblige. Cautiously, he unbuttoned his pants and laid Rin down so he had easier access, and clumsily fumbled for a condom in the glove compartment. Positioning himself at her slippery entrance, he opened his mouth to speak once more.</p><p>But she didn’t let him. “I want it, Len. I promise.”</p><p>When he pushed in, she felt herself tense up uncomfortably again. It was <em> way </em> different than his fingers. It was much bigger, the fit was tighter, and she felt herself being filled beyond her comprehension. It was just <em> so </em>much, she needed to collect herself.</p><p><em> "Jesus," </em> he exhaled, struggling to control his breath.</p><p>“Hold on- I need to get used to you.”</p><p>Despite the rumors about Len in bed, he was patient with her, pumping slowly, in and out, whispering sweet nothings constantly. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and encouraging him. Gradually, he progressed to a steady rhythm, filling the air with their intermingling scents and muffled grunts.</p><p>"You deserve better than the back seat of a car," he admitted sheepishly.</p><p>"Oh yeah? Like what?"</p><p>"Y'know... a four poster canopy bed... candles... the works."</p><p> She laughed, and dug her fingers into his back. With all the horror stories she had read, she hadn’t expected her first time to not be painful, let alone be <em> absolutely amazing.</em> Her head was filled with cloudy, lovesick thoughts as he entered her again and again. Wanting more, she pulled on his ponytail gently and hummed. </p><p>“Can you go a little faster?”</p><p>He laughed. “If I do, I’m gonna cum right away, especially with the faces you keep making.”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>And how could he ever forsake her? He increased his speed, slow pumps turning into wild thrusts, hands swooping upward to knead her breasts roughly, grazing his thumbs over her nipples- and Rin really felt like she was nearing heaven when he suddenly bent forward, pressing his lips to her neck and hissing.</p><p><em> "Fuck," </em> he cursed, grunting as he rode out his orgasm inside her. After finishing, he swiftly pulled out, inspected the condom for leaks, and, satisfied, tied it up and tossed it into a trash bag he had brought.</p><p>The two of them laid sprawled out in the back, catching their breaths. Len turned toward Rin hurriedly.</p><p>“Are you-”</p><p>“I’m great. Amazing. Beautiful. Wow.” She grinned impishly at him, and he flushed. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Thank <em> you,"</em> he said, “I wanna do you the rest of my life, God.” He slumped down, tired, placing his arm over his eyes.</p><p>“You’ll have to marry me then.”</p><p>He shot up in a frenzy, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice. “I- I wasn’t suggesting- I mean if you want to- I’ve definitely thought about it- I didn’t wanna freak you out… do <em> you </em>want to?” </p><p>He was so <em> cute </em>it was unbearable. She got up to climb over to his lap, and bopped him on the nose tenderly. “I told you before, I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready.”</p><p>Regaining some of his usual composure, he chuckled happily, arms folding around her soft body. They stayed like that for the next quarter of an hour, pressing little kisses against each other’s temples, reveling in how the other felt so comforting, so secure, like <em> home. </em> It felt like a long time before Len spoke again.</p><p>“Well, now that I think about it… Kagamine Rin <em> does </em>have a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Epilogue:</p><p>Len had gotten up in the middle of the night for a quick pee, only to pass by the dining table to see a creepy looking Miku sitting with a mug of… something warm. </p><p>“So,” she said casually, checking her nails, “how was your evening?” </p><p>“Good,” he stated plainly, unwilling to provide details.</p><p>“Huh,” she nodded slowly in understanding. “Me too. And you’re welcome. So you owe me.”</p><p>He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and ignored her, heading back to bed.</p><p>Miku smirked triumphantly to herself, and continued sipping her drink.</p><p>Not two seconds later, Len’s head popped back around the corner. “Actually, <em> you’re </em>welcome. So we’re even. Good night.” As he left, he heard her yelp in embarrassment and the sound of a mug clinking loudly against the table, probably spilling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>she wont mess w him anymore</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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